Distinctive deacon

I have spent most of my adult life involved in the life of the Church in one way or another - through paid employment, diocesan roles, lecturing Christian youth workers, volunteering in my home parish, and more recently as a clergy spouse.

At various points during that time, people suggested that I should pursue ordination - usually meaning ordination as a priest. I considered it carefully and prayed about it deeply, but I consistently sensed that God was not calling me to lead a church in the way a Vicar primarily would: preaching regularly, presiding at the Eucharist, and leading from the front. I found myself much drawn to the back row, preferring to hang around the door to chat with those who left super quickly after the service.

Until then, no one had suggested to me that ordained ministry was not automatically priesthood or encouraged me to consider remaining a deacon. Looking back, I could see that God had consistently drawn me towards places and people often overlooked or on the margins of church life - homeless young women, those experiencing poverty, and young people.

Then, over the course of about a month in 2019, I had three separate conversations - with a Bishop, a colleague, and my husband - all of which pointed me towards the diaconate. I decided to sit down and read the Ordinal more carefully than I ever had before. Through that process, I realised that my calling emerged from a place of obedience to God and to the wider Church. I recognised that I was already “deacon-shaped”, and that the next step was to offer that calling to the Church in an ordained capacity. 

Saying out loud, “I think I might be called to ordained ministry,” was the first - and slightly scary - step. I had several conversations with the Associate Priest in my parish, who then referred me to the Diocesan Director of Ordinands (DDO).

I spent a lot of time researching, connecting with the Church of England Network of Distinctive Deacons, meeting and speaking with other deacons - in fact, I had never met another Distinctive Deacon before 2019 - and trying to understand more fully what this vocation might look like in practice.

By this point, we were in the midst of Covid lockdowns, so all of my meetings with the DDO and my discernment panel took place online. I trained for ordination at St Mellitus College in Chelmsford. From the outside, my pathway looked very similar to those training for priesthood, until the point - one year later - when my fellow deacons were ordained as Priests and I was not. It was at that moment that the distinctiveness of my calling became most visible. 

I work for Youthscape, and like many distinctive deacons, I am self-supporting clergy. My weekly pattern usually involves travelling to Luton one or two days a week to work from our base there. Other days may involve travelling around England, working with my brilliant team as we partner with dioceses to implement Launchpad and support churches in starting new youth work. In some contexts I wear a clerical collar; in others I do not.

Alongside my paid role, I currently offer around ten hours a week in my parish. This mainly involves overseeing our youth and children’s ministry, leading our women’s community, offering pastoral care, undertaking baptism visits, and regularly serving as deacon at the Eucharist on Sundays.

So much of what I do - both in my work and in parish ministry - is collaborative. For me, that is central to the ministry of a deacon: servant, bridge-builder, and ambassador. Deacons work alongside Priests, Bishops, and lay people, calling the whole Church to pay attention to the margins and to participate in God’s mission in the world. 

Following conversations with my mother, and a gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit, I came to faith relatively late in life. I began attending my local church and initially felt somewhat left behind by those who had been attending church from a very young age.

I took a series of courses, all of which deepened my faith, and I was commissioned as a Local Lay Minister. Looking forward to a period of rest from study, I was approached by a local priest who suggested I attend one more “effortless” course. I agreed - and found myself on the path to ordination as a Distinctive Deacon. I was ordained in September 2021.

I never sought ordination; I simply began by wanting to help - “Here am I, send me.” My calling to the diaconate came through others recognising in me something I could not see in myself. When my church was without a vicar, I took on a number of responsibilities, including leading a Bible study group, which has now been running for eight years. The path to ordination grew out of this - others seeing in me the helping hand, the willing volunteer, the servant-hearted minister.

The courses I attended helped me to discern my vocation, but it was the encouragement and prompting of others that led me towards ordination. The diaconate felt like the ministry most closely aligned with my calling to servant ministry.

I enrolled on the ordinands’ course, undertook the training, and since being ordained as a Distinctive Deacon I have been serving in the benefice of Kells and the Mission Community of Whitehaven in the Diocese of Carlisle.

A day in the life of a Distinctive Deacon varies widely from person to person and from day to day, depending on the benefice and individual calling. It may include pastoral visiting, distributing home communion, supporting food and medicine distribution, running café church, administration, leading services, funerals, confirmation preparation, children’s ministry, and baptisms.

In a broad sense, I understand the diaconate in terms of the Five Marks of Mission:

• To proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom
• To teach, baptise, and nurture new believers
• To respond to human need by loving service
• To seek to transform unjust structures of society, challenge violence of every kind, and pursue peace and reconciliation
• To strive to safeguard the integrity of creation and sustain and renew the life of the earth.